Tuesday, 4 June 2019

The meaning of the light

Dear Readers, 

What is love? What is the light inside us? Is it easy to open up to people? 

This week, Oren explores this theme. 

We would love to hear from you. Please email me for ideas and inspiration or send me your story/article/poem/artwork at Kmccarthy@sheenasplace.org

Take care of yourself, and remember to nourish your mind, body, and spirit. 

Your blog moderator, 

Kira 

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Down at the center of my core

Lays a light once so bright and now so dim

So faintly seen to the eye but felt by the heart.

The power of my light is uncanny once opened.

Locked up behind the bars of fear and pain.

Never to truly feel the light of another again.

And illuminate ever so brightly the atmosphere of that special someone.

The lock on my light not easily opened.

The key to the lock has been lost and happily forgotten.

For the pains of love are forever haunting

The wounds of love bear the mark of lost innocence.

The meaning of the light is hard to comprehend to the faint at heart.

The pains and fears have tainted my once massively flaming heart.

To the glowing marble it is today.

Where once lay pumping my naive, loving heart

Now lay a wounded, dim hollow.

Awaiting the arrival of that special key to open the chains

And unleash my love.

By Oren

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Work published on this blog is property of the writer/artist. Content is edited and approved by the moderator. This blog is not a substitute for medical advice. Please see your health practitioner if you have concerns about yourself or your recovery. 
If you would like to share your stories, writings, and art, please email Kmccarthy@Sheenasplace.org

If you or someone in your life is struggling with an Eating Disorder, you can contact the National Eating Disorder Information Centre (NEDIC) at nedic.ca

For information or to register for groups at Sheena's Place, please visit www.sheenasplace.org

Thursday, 30 May 2019

I am already well hidden


Dear Readers, 

What is going on with this weather? It is frustrating to be hot one day and cold the next. 

Kind of like being in recovery, having a slip, and getting back on track. 

Someone once said "It isn't a relapse, it is a lapse. Everyone moment is a moment to reset." That idea really struck me and has stayed with me for years. 

This week we are sharing poetry by Sharon. It speaks to me of isolation. That feeling is so common and going to Sheena’s Place is a way to combat that feeling. 

Take care of yourself, and remember to nourish your body, mind, and spirit. 

Your blog moderator, 

Kira

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I have built a palace made from buts of coloured sand.
It is protected by blue waves, incandescent shells, "lotus" flowers, cryptic words and prayers. 
But it will, like everything else, eventually disappear. It is the essence of my memory, ephemeral as sleep unsettled as the sea ...

By Sharon Miller


Blank faces full of eyes turn towards the business of asking who are you.
A few of them sit hunched against the bar counter.
There is only one place to sit.
A pressure of a body leans against me.
He leans over and asks, Are you looking for a place to hide?
I laugh, indulgently, and almost tell him no,
for I am already well-hidden.

By Sharon Miller

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Work published on this blog is property of the writer/artist. Content is edited and approved by the moderator. This blog is not a substitute for medical advice. Please see your health practitioner if you have concerns about yourself or your recovery. 
If you would like to share your stories, writings, and art, please email Kmccarthy@Sheenasplace.org

If you or someone in your life is struggling with an Eating Disorder, you can contact the National Eating Disorder Information Centre (NEDIC) at nedic.ca

For information or to register for groups at Sheena's Place, please visit www.sheenasplace.org

Wednesday, 29 May 2019

Any Body Can Dance


Dear Readers.

One my my favourite fundraising projects for Sheena's Place has been my colouring books exploring the joy of moving all of our bodies. My focus for this particular project was the female body. You can speak to staff about purchasing this work by making a donation to Sheena's Place.




Take care and remember to nourish your body, mind, and spirit.

Your moderator,
Kira

































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Work published on this blog is property of the writer/artist. Content is edited and approved by the moderator. This blog is not a substitute for medical advice. Please see your health practitioner if you have concerns about yourself or your recovery. 
If you would like to share your stories, writings, and art, please email Kmccarthy@Sheenasplace.org
If you or someone in your life is struggling with an Eating Disorder, you can contact the National Eating Disorder Information Centre (NEDIC) at nedic.ca
For information or to register for groups at Sheena's Place, please visit www.sheenasplace.org

Sifting through the sands of time


Dear Readers,

Sometimes we struggle. At times the struggle feels endless. It feels like drowning. It feels like your whole life is consumed by the struggle.

Sometimes we need to use our skills, our resources, and our support systems to pull ourselves out of what this week’s writer calls “the muck”, or “the undertoe”. Other times, we just need to share our pain, seeking empathy, not strategy. And all of that is okay. It is okay to take a moment and feel yourself drowning. To truly feel it allows us to find a way to pull ourselves out.

This week, Oren uses metaphors to describe these moments of suffering.

Take good care of yourself, and remember to nourish your body, mind, and spirit.

Your blog moderator,
Kira

*************************************************
Sifting through the sands of time.

watching as your life slip by.

Trying to clench your fingers tight.

watching as your life slips by.

you dig deeper within the muck.

hoping to get a grip.

watching as your life slips by.

pulled even further by the undertow

unable to see the light beyond the night.

watching as your life slips by.

treading water to no end
being pushed further to the deep end.
limbs getting tired, limbs getting weak.

arms getting heavy going to sink beneath your feet.

watching as your life slips by.

By Oren

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Work published on this blog is property of the writer/artist. Content is edited and approved by the moderator. This blog is not a substitute for medical advice. Please see your health practitioner if you have concerns about yourself or your recovery. 
If you would like to share your stories, writings, and art, please email Kmccarthy@Sheenasplace.org
If you or someone in your life is struggling with an Eating Disorder, you can contact the National Eating Disorder Information Centre (NEDIC) at nedic.ca
For information or to register for groups at Sheena's Place, please visit www.sheenasplace.org


Blooming into Freedom


In this week's post, Kate wrote: 

"The darkness cannot hide me anymore. I am ready to take on what life has planned for me. I am ready to be free."

As we have learned from Brene Brown, shame cannot live in the light. Coming out from the darkness and identifying the problem is the first step to recovery. Kate writes about the experience of perfectionism and the ultimate realization of how beautiful imperfection is. In this piece, she writes about being called “fat” and believing it. This is such a common experience that I decided it does not break the safe space guidelines to use a word that for some is empowering while for others demoralizing. It is a description, not a label. It is a word, it is not truth. It is the meaning and power that you give to the word that makes it what it is. 

Take good care of yourself, and remember to nourish your body, mind, and spirit.

Your blog moderator,
Kira

Blooming into Freedom
By Kate

I have always had a desire to be perfect. The perfect daughter, the perfect student, the perfect girlfriend. It wasn’t until recently that I realized perfection doesn’t exist, and that even if it did, I wouldn’t want to be it. It has taken me so long to get to this point. I can finally say that I am whole-heartedly happy with who I am on the inside and out. I am not perfect, and I am one hundred percent okay with that.

My name is Kate, I am nineteen years old, and I am a survivor of Anorexia/Bulimia Nervosa.

When I was ten years old, I began to compare myself to everyone around me. I soon came to the conclusion that I had more baby fat than everyone else, I was short, I was round, and I was not athletic. This realization kick started nearly a decade of self hatred. When I was in the fourth grade, a boy in class said he would never like me because I was fat. That left me with burning questions. Was I fat? Was being fat wrong? Was I unhealthy? This led to constant feelings of inadequacy. Some people say that your childhood shapes who you one day become. I had always believed that was true. For years, I was certain that I was forever going to be a person that would never accept myself for who I am, and that I was always going to be inadequate.


In the ninth grade, things got worse. I always had a deep self esteem issue, but I had never really acted on it. The media played a big role in what turned my life upside down. I began taking on behaviours that I didn’t even recognize at first. Normally, I would outline what those behaviours were, but I think it’s best if I just sum it up: I was cruel to myself, and to my body, and to my soul. I punished myself. I let my mind take control of my existence. ED absorbed what was left of the real me, and began taking over my every move. For two years, I was silent. For two years, I didn’t even know that I was sick. In grade eleven, I discovered that I was depressed. I never wanted to do anything, yet I did everything. My strive to be perfect overpowered my desire to stay in bed, but I never smiled. I worked two jobs, got straight A’s, had friends and a boyfriend, but on the inside I was numb. ED haunted me every waking moment. The best way to describe it is to say that I was a host. It was my body moving, but I was not inside. Not who I am truly, but a deformed version of someone that I will never recognize. I began seeing a counsellor at school. We would talk about how I was feeling depressed. One day she asked me if there was anything else I wanted to talk about. I remember biting my lip. It was like a switch was flipped and I suddenly realized that I was sick. That the behaviours I was participating in weren’t normal, and that I had never actually noticed. I told her that I think I may have an eating disorder. We talked for another hour about why I felt this way. Suddenly, I was at home that night telling my sister, and the next few days led to telling my parents and friends and family. Like rapid fire, my journey to recovery began as quickly as my realization of my illness.


I was immediately admitted into an outpatient eating disorder youth clinic that I would attend once a week. The nurse practitioner would take my vitals, my dietician would discuss food with me, and my counsellor would listen to me vent. This program opened my eyes to a whole new world. A world I didn’t know could exist. Freedom. I loved attending my sessions, because each time, I left with a new piece of the puzzle that I had been trying to put together for so long. A puzzle that would replace ED forever. I don’t know if it was the time and the venting that slowly made it easier, or if it was the overwhelming feelings of support and care that I received from those around me. Looking back, I am grateful to have gone through this. Because it made me stronger than I ever was. I am hard working, dedicated, caring, I love myself. I want what is best for myself.


Flash forward, I am now entering my second year of college. I am optimistic, accepting, and excited for what my future holds for me. I never want to go back to where I was, and I honestly cannot see that happening. I am a beautiful train wreck. I was once a complete disaster that has now bloomed into a new found freedom. Freedom to express who I really am, freedom to love everything that I once despised. Freedom to look inside my heart and find compassion.


My eating disorder could have killed me. And for a while, it did. My Eating Disorder does not define who I am. I am not a girl with an eating disorder. I am a girl who has been through a self inflicted hell and has ended up on the other side. There is light after the darkness. The darkness cannot hide me anymore. I am ready to take on what life has planned for me. I am ready to be free.

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Work published on this blog is property of the writer/artist. Content is edited and approved by the moderator. This blog is not a substitute for medical advice. Please see your health practitioner if you have concerns about yourself or your recovery. 
If you would like to share your stories, writings, and art, please email Kmccarthy@Sheenasplace.org
If you or someone in your life is struggling with an Eating Disorder, you can contact the National Eating Disorder Information Centre (NEDIC) at nedic.ca
For information or to register for groups at Sheena's Place, please visit www.sheenasplace.org

You are Love(d)


Dear Blog Readers, 

This week I have combined words by K.A.Love, with art by Angela Ting. 

Upon reading the poem, I immediately thought of Ting’s work. 

Take care of yourself, and remember to nourish your mind, body, and spirit. 

Your blog moderator, 
Kira 

****************


*Angela Ting

atonement

many years ago i came
to the wailing wall
along with my fellow
believers,

to push my wishes
into the cracks of
those ancient
hebraic bricks.

given the opportunity
to face again

the broken stones,

this time around
i would leave my
childish wishes
behind

and offer up instead
a simple prayer
for myself and
for sentient beings
everywhere.

a prayer of surrender
that we all may
stop resisting and just
allow the mystery

to enter our bodies

letting every fiber of our
beings vibrate
with the certainty
that we

are loved

for more than what
we do, or have, or give.
so we can finally
relax

into the revelation
that we
are right in this

very moment,

perfectly enough.

k.a. love


*Angela Ting

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Work published on this blog is property of the writer/artist. Content is edited and approved by the moderator. This blog is not a substitute for medical advice. Please see your health practitioner if you have concerns about yourself or your recovery. 
If you would like to share your stories, writings, and art, please email Kmccarthy@Sheenasplace.org
If you or someone in your life is struggling with an Eating Disorder, you can contact the National Eating Disorder Information Centre (NEDIC) at nedic.ca
For information or to register for groups at Sheena's Place, please visit www.sheenasplace.org

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